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It's an Exhausting Life Right Now.

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It's an Exhausting Life Right Now.

Crann-na-beatha.com
Published by T. Ó Domhnaill in Activism · Saturday 15 Aug 2026 · Read time 14 minutes
Tags: Crann, na, beatha, Exhausting, Life, Mental, Health, Stress, Wellness, Self, Care, Coping, Strategies, Life, Challenges, Personal, Growth, Resilience
Over the last couple of weeks, as I wrote about recently, I have been healing from a knee sprain, for which I'm very glad that's all it was. I'm ready now, to get back to my normal exercise routine, and regular life schedule again.

On the other side of that coin, have been all of the server repairs I had to take care of over the last couple of weeks. I have spent a couple of very long nights working on replacing failed or missing hard drives (more on that later), and setting up a second server for a back up, because I knew that the primary (C:) drive on my main server was failing.

What takes up most of the time needed during these repairs, are the commands needed to configure servers to work like they're supposed to in the network environment you create, if you're a network engineer like I am. I designed my whole network infrastructure myself, and if I were a lot younger, I could be selling that IT talent for a lot of money.

As much as I dislike AI, I have found this summer, that the Google Gemini AI tool has been very helpful in diagnosing and setting up my servers. I find it reasonably knowledgeable, and more user friendly, than some others I tried.

Gemini has made several mistakes, such as command script syntax errors, and providing wrong information, that necessitated in me having to perform tasks all over again to get things right. I keep telling myself when the tool fails me, is that these AI tools are learning on the go as much as I am, therefore I just need to be patient with it, and continue to use it to work the problem. Eventually, everything fell in line, despite a couple of dubious solutions along the way.

Now, I'm in the monitoring phase. Logging in at least once a day for a while to make sure everything is working as it should. Once I'm reassured that I have the majority of the bugs resolved, I can back off to once a week.

What started all of this, was the foreknowledge that I had security certificates on the servers and PC's that were expiring in July. So, in July, I started working on renewing them, and in the process, I found errors showing up in my server logs telling me that I had a hard drive failing, and which one.

Of course, Murphy's law being what it is, the failing hard drive just had to be the worst one to replace, as far as the overall plan to fix the problem. It was the C: drive on my primary domain server in my network. In other words, the brains of my whole network. The one hard drive that would require me shutting down the server for several hours to fix. Not that swapping out that failing physical hard drive itself would take that much time ( a matter of just a few minutes, if you know what you're doing), but all of the server configurations that need to take place, in order for the whole network to not go down hard.

The first thing I had to do, was set up another server. For which I was lucky enough to have an older desktop computer just looking for a new home. All I needed to do was install some hard drives. Which cost me over $500 by the time I was through. Once I had that part accomplished,. I had to convert that old desktop into a new Windows Server.

This machine really isn't that old. I bought it from Dell back in 2019, and it is still a good computer. It's just that the hardware inside was starting to show its age by struggling to handle a more intensive, AI assisted war game I play now and again (although not lately), and other newer AI assisted web browsers. I knew it was time to upgrade, so I bought a new Dell desktop PC this spring, that I worked with Dell to make for me. It may be more expensive to do that, but I get to have a say in the hardware I want, or not, for my purposes. Being a computer tech, that means a lot to me. That way, I know it will last me for quite a few years as well.

The other part of all of that, is Trump's tariff war with the rest of the world. I have been watching the tech news, and I know that this trade war has driven up the prices of computer hardware, especially memory boards with the chips they need to keep our digital data intact. As the trade war with China drags on, the higher the prices are getting, due to a lack of supply, both in the manufacture of the memory boards, and the final products to sell to techs like me.

I figured that it would be better to spend the money this year, before one; they become unavailable on the open market anymore to little people like me, and two; what parts are still out there, will be priced so high, only the very wealthy will be able to afford them here in the U.S.

And I doubt Trump would allow me to source any cheap computer parts directly from Chinese manufacturers. American consumers are caught between two large rocks, with little room to wiggle anymore.

But that also applies to non-computer parts as well. Everyday living is becoming harder for a lot of people now, and the anger is starting to show all across the country. The more anger people show in public, the more Trump doubles down on trying to rig the next set of elections, both now, in 2026, and the near future in 2028.

He's talking more and more about maybe finding an excuse to declare a national emergency, and any manner of other things to try and stop states from holding free and fair elections in November. And more and more people are starting to stand up to him to say no, including a lot of people who voted for him twice.

I talked recently about Trump's new national security memorandum from last fall. Where they want the DOJ to go after anyone that doesn't meet their new standards for an American society of their making. I don't fit that characterisation in any way, other than having been born in this country, which I'm starting to regret a little now.

I'm not a Christian, and I'm not much of a patriot anymore, unless you count belonging to the new revolution being patriotic. I most certainly don't conform to anything else on that list, other than being white and native born. Although Trump might argue that being born in California might not count as being native born, given his feud with the governor and the state in general.

Will I have my passport revoked someday in the next couple of years because I'm a domestic terrorist, according to that memo? That's already starting to happen to some undesirable native born American citizens. I read an article last week, about a trans woman who fled to Europe out of fear of persecution after Trump's first term, and is deathly afraid to return out of fear for her life. She was attempting to travel around the EU Shengen zone when she found out at airport security in a EU country while trying to board a plane, that Trump's state department had revoked her passport without telling her. Just because she protested Trump's policies on trans people, and the wars in the middle east. She's now attempting to claim asylum in another EU country, and will probably never return to the U.S.

That's just one recent example of how xenophobic Trump and his mafia associates have become. I've written about this before. The LBGTQ+ population in the U.S. has had to go into hiding or immigrate to another country and claim political persecution. There are a lot of these folks in Canada now, and unable to contact loved ones in the U.S. out of fear that someone will be punished out of retribution, or to draw the exiles back, to be incarcerated or worse.

This is just the beginning, as a lot of us know. If Trump were to have many more years in the white house, we would probably see a lot more of this. But, thankfully, Trump is on his way out, one way or another.

It's pretty much a foregone conclusion that the democrats will take over the congress this fall. Both in Washington D.C., and in quite a few state houses across the country. People are fed up with all of the in your face blatant corruption, and the obvious mafia grift taking place for all to see. Trump doesn't care anymore. I personally think he knows this, and has given up in a lot of ways. He's tired, and doesn't want to play anymore. He's found out the hard way, that it's a lot of work to try and remake the country in his image, when a majority of the citizens are dead set against it. Trump is notoriously lazy, and having to put in this much hard work to get what he wants, is not what he was expecting when he was elected again.

Like his idea of bombing Iran in February, he probably thought he could steamroll the U.S. into giving him everything he wanted in the first few months of 2025, then all he had to do afterwards, was to sit back and wave his hand, and his servants would jump to his beck and call. His cabinet secretaries have, but everyone else, not so much. And all of that fighting is making him tired, ready to go quit and go home. Taking the toys he stole from everyone else with him.

You can see this in his body language when he talks to reporters now. I've speculated that, between his, much reported, diet of fast food, and this very stressful job, that he is a hair's breath away from a heart attack or a stroke. We could only be so lucky. J.D. Vance is so pliable, he'll take the office and just do as he's told. He's a coward in every sense of the word.

What I'm more worried about than Trump's health problems, or Vance's cowardice, is how Trump is going to eventually bankrupt the country soon. All of the signs are there for another 2008, only this time, much worse. I'm starting to prepare now.

We're stocking up on extra non-perishable food, canning more, and I'm upgrading my technology as I can, before I can't, and stuff starts breaking even worse than it already has. I can't afford to upgrade my laptop, so, I'll have to take my chances with that. I bought it back in late 2020. Another Dell deal where I took a basic laptop frame and built my own laptop in Dell's build a computer program. But now, it's starting to wear out. The touch pad barely works anymore, and the plastic frame is starting to flake off a little. I've stopped using it much, because I can't afford to replace it now, and I need it to last a little while longer.

The future of the United States is starting to look pretty grim. I see it in the financial reports I watch and listen to. I listen to the main stream journalists who interview the common people now and again. And I see how desperate Trump and some of the morbidly wealthy are starting to sound. As if some of them know that the end may be near. I don't think Trump knows about this as, one, he's too stupid to understand what he's doing, and two, he doesn't care, as long as he, and his two boys, can keep stealing everything that isn't nailed down before they're escorted to the door.

For anyone reading this, I hope you're preparing for the next big recession. As I replied to someone earlier this week, it's not if, but when now. If the democrats can get their act together quickly after the mid-terms, they may be able to hold the recession off for a little while longer, but it is coming soon. Even they can't hold it off for too much longer. Trump and Bessent have run up too much national debt, and the bill is coming due very soon.

According to some financial reports, the U.S. is very close to not being able to even pay the interest on that debt anymore. Not without a lot of sacrifices to bring down the deficit, and federal expenditures. I know one place in the budget that the U.S. could pare back a lot on, the national defence budget. We don't need to spend a trillion and a half on national defence.

Look at where that money's not being spent. Not on food and basic essential for the deployed troops on the ships and forward deployed bases, that's for sure. I well remember being on a small ship when the potable water had to be rationed, and what it's like to not have enough food to eat while deployed somewhere. I feel bad for all of those sailors deployed to the gulf right now. What no one is mentioning in the news, is how bad things are on the destroyers as well. Or what the Pentagon is doing for what's left of the forward deployed troops still on the ground around the Persian Gulf. Their resupply must really be bad right about now, with fewer secure assets available to bring in food and other essential personal supplies.

Nope. Save all that money by bringing the troops home. Put the ships in the dry docks and repair facilities, and use the rest to patrol the homeland. Downsize the Army, Air Force and Marines. If anything, transfer some of the sailors to the Coast Guard. Stop being the world's police force, not that we really were anyway. Mostly, stop being the offspring of the old British Empire, and learn to get along with everyone on a more equal footing, instead of imperialism.

But hey, I don't get paid the big bucks to say things like that. I might end up in jail if I decided to say this all in a public speech somewhere right now. It would violate the policies in Trump's latest national security memorandum.

As always, be safe, keep your heads down, and your powder dry. You don't want to be seen by one of those Flock cameras, if you can help it. I have often thought lately about how much damage I could do to those cameras with a well aimed shot from a .22 rifle? I wouldn't even have to get very close with one of the rifles I have. Just thinking out loud. I wouldn't want to give someone any ideas, right?


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